HOW I CAME TO FAITH

mustard seed on palm
Grain of mustard seed on palm of hand

The last time we spoke, I left off my story with a promise to introduce you to a good friend of mine. As is the custom, at least with me, I have procrastinated the writing of this piece, and the introduction to my said friend, till there was virtually nothing else to do. And that is when I sat to write.

I digress. You came here for the story, I suppose. Not my melodramatics.

And into the story let us dive. I only mentioned in passing the role my Friend has had in my life. Which is quite a terrible thing to do, considering I literally owe my life to him. So allow me to set things straight, and to begin at the beginning – where I believe all stories should.

I Wasn’t Always Like This

As you may or may not have heard about me, I am of that tribe of people who call themselves, and are called by others, Christians. And just like any other Christians you may know, I wasn’t born one. Being brought up in a Christ-believing home was in itself was no surety that I was personally saved from sin. A personal and deliberate decision had to be arrived at by myself – something I am not quite sure I knew then.

Growing up, I was a good child. I went to church. I did my chores. I didn’t cause my parents and teachers more headaches than was their fair share. All in all I was a ‘good’ boy. But this ‘goodness’ of mine was only superficial. It wasn’t real. I know this because my goodness made me feel superior to all those around me who weren’t as ‘good’ as I was. I was caught in an ego trap and I didn’t know it.

To be honest, I was just a churchgoer with a personal sense of morality I felt everyone should ascribe to. My stubborn attitude won me many debates with peers and made me appear smarter than I was. My charm allowed me to get away with a great deal of mistakes. From a young age I had convinced everyone around me that I was a good apple and that I could never hurt a fly. I did it so much, that it wasn’t long before I had convinced myself the same.

Coming To Faith

I now know that the only role I played in my accepting salvation from sin was that – accepting it. God had the supervisory role and He had in His infinite wisdom delegated tasks to many of His servants. My parents, I believe, had the chief roles in this. From a young age, I was taken to Sunday School and coached on the importance of living morally and of working hard. However, there is only so much you can do for another person. All the churchgoing and discipline in the world can never save a single soul. Only God can. And God does not save by proxy, He saves personally.

So, my upbringing pointed me in the right direction, but it would never suffice to take me to heaven. Something else was needed – conviction of sin, and a desire from deep within me to change. Both being desires I couldn’t cultivate on my own.

The Problem

My biggest challenge was that I would never of my own accord have realised my sin and sought out God to help me out of it. That could only come from Him… and it did come, just a few months after completing my high school studies. I joined a high-school leavers’ program at my church, thinking it would be a good chance for me to bide time as I thought of what to do with my life. It turns out God already had plans.

Remember the self-righteous guy I had always been? All those pretenses went flying out the window once I met the people at the program. They were my age, some younger, but they lacked something I bore with me daily. They had no guile. I looked at them laughing and loving and living and saw no pretense in their actions. They had true joy, and I knew even then, that that joy didn’t come from within them. The more time I spent with them, the more I realised I was empty. The more I felt I wanted what they had. And though I didn’t know it then, all this time God was working behind the scenes, convicting me more and more of my sinful nature. And when the time was ripe, which wasn’t too long after, I made the decision to renew my relationship with him.

The Dilemma

Though I had made a decision to honour God with my life, for the longest time I wondered if that was the right decision. Was there even a right decision? Who says there is a God? Who says that there is a heaven and hell? Wouldn’t I ‘waste’ my life if I got saved now? Why not wait till I was older and I had lived out my youthful days in never-ending fun? I had more questions swimming in my mind than I could care to count. The problem was I didn’t know where to find the answers. So I did the one thing I knew, I sought out knowledge.

I bought books. I borrowed them. I downloaded others and only stopped short of stealing them. And though I found answers to some questions, the questions only became more and more; and increasingly deeper and profound. I almost gave up. But a realisation, from God doubtless, is what saved me. I hit upon a truth that would have saved me a lot of time if only I had acknowledged it earlier.

Faith

At the time that God impressed upon me my sin, there are several ways I would have responded. I chose to seek a way out of my sin, but I could have very easily decided to shut out the conviction. Or just as easily, reacted angrily towards the people who had made me feel guilty of my state. I could have labelled them ‘self – righteous’ and disengaged from them…but I didn’t. I fought my pride and accepted I could have been wrong…and they could be right.

So, what truth is it that helped me?

I came to the realisation that I could never know everything. Try as I might, I would never know everything that I needed to, in order for me to make a decision about God. I even searched Scripture to try see if there was any promise by God that if I asked many questions, I would find all their answers and find Him at the end of one of those answers. There was no such promise.

Actually the promises in His Word are that if I wanted to see Him, I needed Faith. If I wanted to know I had made the right decision, I needed to believe that I had made the right decision. The Bible says that faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

And a beautiful reminder and promise from the Son of God Himself is that, “blessed are they that have not seen and yet have believed.”

Remember that picture of a mustard seed up there? That’s how little faith you will need to move a mountain…perhaps your mountain of unbelief. If you have faith the size of that mustard seed, “…nothing will be impossible to you.” (Matthew 17:20)

How I Met My Friend

I didn’t meet my friend, He’s the one who found me. The only thing I needed to meet Him…was faith. In Him. It didn’t need require a lot of ceremony, I didn’t need to ‘change’ my ways and become ‘good’…I had had enough of that. The only currency I needed to make this transaction was, and still is, Faith.

If I had known that, I would have probably done less beating about the bush. But it was a lesson I needed to have learnt…and it is one I will never forget.

So what do we say then? That simply, if you want to find God…you will. Those are not my words, they are His. And you know what else? If you find Him, be sure He found you first.

In case you missed it, my friend’s name is Jesus…(in English). You can call Him Yeshua, Yesu, Ieosus, Jesu…He doesn’t mind. I hope you make him your friend too. All you need, is to believe.

PS – The photo I took up there isn’t really of a mustard seed. I had a mustard seed somewhere but I misplaced it, so I had to improvise. (It’s a pebble) 😛

I hope that doesn’t shake your faith 🙂

Please leave Comments, Questions, Answers below…

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7 thoughts on “HOW I CAME TO FAITH

    1. Thanks Someone for reading and commenting 🙂

      I hope and pray that your friendship with Christ grows in leaps and bounds all the days of your life.

      Be blessed.

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